Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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