my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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