I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
