Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I smell stomach acid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
