So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
