Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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