Having a random hookup so left but love u
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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