I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
