I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
