im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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