i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
