is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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