Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
