I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
