Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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