the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
