You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
