Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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