why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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