I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
