Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
