I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
