just come out here and I will go home with you...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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