Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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