Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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