STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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