no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Panties = found
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
