But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
