I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
