went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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