That's intense
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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