If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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