was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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