I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
