Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize