Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
