don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
