How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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