is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
