Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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