friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You took a bar mat shot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
