I wish I could teleport
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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