Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
