i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
