how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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