I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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