Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
