Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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