Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
