When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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